LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 

Slielf.iW-[2..b 



UNITED STATES OF AMEEICA. 



i 



( 



:e»:rxgj3 so cei>tts. 



.» DER PARODIES 




-^OlST 



Friederick Scholtz, 




INCLUDING "SHAKE SHNYDER'S RIDE," " DOT HEADHEN 

SCHINEE," "DOT OLD SEDDIN HEN," &c., &c., 

WITH MANY ÜF THE ORIGINAL POEMS. 



A leedle nonsense now und den 
Ish youst der ding vor every men ; 
Dot makes der vimni'^n laugh und shout. 
Und all der shildren shmile out lout. 



-Shakesbeer. 



TONAWANDA, N. Y. : 
GEG. M. WARREN & COr, PUBLISHERS. 





New York News Co., Wholesale Agents, 20 Beekman St., New York. 



DER PARODIES 



"^03^T 



Friederick Sclioltz, 




BY GEORGE M. WARREN. 

INCLUDIXG '^SHAKE SKNYDER'S RIDE," '' DOT HEADHEN 
SCHINEE," '' DOT OLD SEDDIN HEN," &c,, &c. 



-/• 



r/;>'^^"cOPVR 



A leedle nonsense no'v und den ' ^' 

Ish youst der ding vor every men ; 
Dot niakes der vinimen laugh und shoüt. 
Und all der shildren semile out lout. '■,, • 



■'"^W/ 



:? 



BUFFALO: a -., 

BAKER, JOiNES & CO., PRINTERS AND BINDERS. 
1881. 



fU ,) 



• VVuö, 



Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year iSSo, bj- 

GEORGE M. WARREN, :•. i / - 
In the Office of the Librarian of Con^ess, at Washington. 



DER POEMS 

¥0N 

FRIEDERICK SCHULTZ 



SHERIDAN'S KIDE. 

BY THOMAS BUCHANAN READ. 

'P from the South at break of day, 
Bringing to Winchester fresh dismay, 
The affrighted air with a shudder bore, 
Like a herald in haste to the chieftain's door, 
The terrible grumble, and rumble, and roar, 
Telling the battle was on once more, 
And Sheridan twenty miles away. 

And wilder still those billows of war, 

Thundered along the horizon's bar; 

And louder yet into Winchester rolled 

The roar of that red sea uncontrolled, 

Making the blood of the listener cold, 

As he thought of the stake in that fiery fray, 

And Sheridan twenty miles away. 



4 SHERIDAN S RIDE. 

But there is a road from Winchester town, 

A good, broad highway leading down; 

And there, through the liush of the morning 

h.^-ht, 
A steed as black as the steeds of night, 
Was seen to pass, as with eagle flight, 
As if he knew the terrible need; 
He stretched away with his utmost speed; 
Hills rose and feil; but his heart was gay, 
With Sheridan fifteen miles away. . 

Still Sprung from those swift hoofs, thundering 

South, 
The dust, like smoke from the cannon's m.outh; 
Or the trail of a comet, sweeping faster and 

faster, 
Foreboding to traitors the doom of disaster. 
The heart of the steed, and the heart of the 

master 
Were beaten like prisoners assaulting theirwalls, 
Impatient to be where the battle-field calls; 
Every nerve of the charger was stretched to füll 

play, 
With Sheridan only ten miles away. 

Under his spurning feet, the road 

Like an arrowy Alpine river flowed. 

And the landscape sped away behind 

Like an ocean flying before the wind. 

And the steed, like a bark fed with furnace ire, 



SHERIDAN S RIDE. 5 

Swept on, with his wild eye füll of fire. 
But lo! he is nearjng.his heart's desire; 
He is snuffing the smoke of the roaring fray, 
With Sheridan only five miles away. 

The first that the General saw were the groups 
Of stragglers, and then the retreating troops; 
What was done ? what to do ? a glance told him 

both, 
Then striking his spurs, with a terrible oath, 
He dashed down the line, 'mid a storm of huzzas, 
And the wave of retreat checked its course there, 

because 
The sight of the master compelled it to pause. 
With foam and with dust the black charger was 

gray; 
By the flash of his eye, and the red nostril's play, 
He seemed to the whole great army to say, 
" I have brought you Sheridan all the way 
From Winchester, down to save the day." 

Hurrah! hurrah for Sheridan! 

Hurrah! hurrah for horse and man! 

And when their statues are placed on high 

Under the dorne of the Union sky, 

The American soldiers' Temple of Fame, 

There with the glorious General's name 

Be it Said in letters both bold and bright: 

'^ Here is the steed that saved the day 

By carrying Sheridan into the fight, 

From Winchester — twenty miles away! " 



6 SHAKE SHNYDER S RIDE. 

SHAKE SHIS^YDER'S RIDE. 

POT vas een der repellion, avay down sout, 
Und der pattle von Vinchester vas youst 
broke out, 

'Tvas a leedle before daylighd, und dere on der 
grount, 

Shkattered about here und dere, vas der troops 
shleeping sount. 

Und der roosders vas growing een der henkoops 
arount, 

Ven all ov a suddenly somedings vas der matter. 

Aboud tain tousand cannons all gommenced to 
klatter, 

Und dot shkared all der boys, und dey gom- 
menced to shkatter. 

Shake Shnyder vas dere; he vas a raw regruit, 
Und so gwick vhen he heard der cannon shoot 
He dought it vas better vor heem to shkoot. 
So an olt gray hoss stood near by een der vagon 

track, 
Und Shake bicked üb a shtick und hees olt 

knap-sack, 
Und een youst one shoomp he vas on hees back, 
Und he shtruck dot old horse a vearful krack, 
Und he yelled mit all hees might, "You git," 
Und avay he vent down der road lickerty 

shplit. 



SHAKE SHNYDER S RIDE. 7 

Py Gosh! right avay der olt hoss shtruck hees 

galt, 
Mit hees head und hees tail both shticken out 

sdraight; 
But dot vasnt all, now hold on, you youst vait! 
'Tvas youst five o'cluck ven he shdarted dot day, 
Und een tain minutes by der vatch Shake vas 

five milse avay. 

Der road vas ruii und covered mit shtone, 

But der olt gray hoss kept right on goin. 

Ov course, vonce een a vhile he would let out a 

groan, 
Vor dots drue, he vas notting but shkin und 

bone. 
But avay he vent, mitout bridle or saddle, 
Und venefer he heard der sound ov der battle, 
He vould git up und git, und hees olt hoofs 

vould rattle, 
Vile Shake hung to hees back und made heem 

shkedaddle. 
Und at dwenty minutes past five, by der tick ov 

der vatch, 
Shake vas tain milse avay, By Shiminy Krotch! 

Py Grashus! dot vas a vearful ride; 
But still Shake didnt vas satisfied. 
He vanted to git furder avay vrom dot fighd. 
So avay he vent down der roat, flying pell-mell, 
Und he hurryed up der hoss, vor he knowed 
very vell 



ö SHAKE SHNYDER S RIDE. 

Vrom der vay dol der rebels vas firing der shell, 
Ov he didn't shkedaddle he'd ^it shot, sure 

as — — vell, 
You know how 'tvas yourseluf, een a case like dot, 
Ven der rebels vas chasin you pooty blamed hot, 
Und you had to run like a sonovagun, By 

Scott! 
Oxpectin aifry minute to git your back füll ov 

shot. 
Vell, dot vas der case mit Shake; 'tvas hees only 

sahvation; 

So he made dot hoss go like- all creation, 

Und at half-past five by der sun dot day, 
Shake Shnyder vas fifdeen milse avay. 

Und shdill on dey vent, raisin der dust, 
Und aifry time dot a shell vood busht 
'Tvas hard to teil vich vas shkared der vurst. 
Und Shake vas afraid on anudder account, 
Vor he veiglied two hunnerd und forty pound, 
Und der vay der olt hoss got over der grount, 
He dought aifry minute 'twoud come to pass 
Dot der olt hoss vould shtop und let heem go to 

grass. 
But he vas meesdaken; avay dey vent down der 

road, 
As if der devel vas afder em boad, 
Und at twenty minutes ov six, youst oxactly to 

a tick, 
Shake vas dwenty milse avay — vasnt dot pooty 

d — darn gwick ? 



SHAKE SHNYDER S RIDE. 9 

Py Gosh! dot olt hoss vas a buster to travel, 
Und dot morning Shake made der olt vellar 

shkratch gravel; 
Und Shnyder kept time ven der hosses feet come 

up, 
Und he'd say, keep-it-up, keep-it-up, keep-it-up, 

keep-it-up. 
Und likewise dot hoss had lots ov backbone — • 
You could teil dot vas so by der vay Shake 

vould groan. 
But he vas bound to hang on ov it shplit heem 

in two, 
So he hung like der devel — vell, vot eise could 

he do ? 
Till at last der olt hoss begun to look pale, 
Und der sweat run in shtreams off der end of 

hees tail. 
So Shake dought by dese tirne it must be six, 

ainyhow, 
Und he says to himself, I vas safe enuff now. 
So he shtopped and turned round, und what do 

you shpose ? 
He give der rebels der pass-word from der end 

of hees nose; 
Und den he laffed at der cussed rebels, 
Vor he vas dwenty-five milse from der drubble- 

some devils. 

So den hurrah for Shake Shnyder, und dree 
cheers vor dot hoss. 



lO SHAKE SHNYDER S RIDE. 

Vor dots no use dalkin, dot olt gray vas boss. 
Talk bout Sheridan's nag — vy, between you 

und me, 
Der olt gray vould beat heem nve times out ov 

dree. 
So den let us cheer heem dhree times goot und 

lout; 
Already, now, Hu vy, vats der metter mit 

your mout ? 
Oh," you can aiferyvone laff; dots all very vell, 
But of you vas een Shnyder's place, how you 

vould 3^ell. 
Vy, here's Mr. Schmidt on der platform to-night; 
He vas a goot soldier ov course, dots all right; 
But he got schkart at a rebel een dot wery same 

fight, 
Und he got up und shkedaddled mid all of hees 

might, 
Und een less'n tain minutes he vas glear out of 

sight. 
Vell, ven such men got schkart, you oxpect Shake 

to keep cool ? 
Ov you do, you must dink he's a darned olt 

fool. 
Ov course, Shake got schkart, und run avay 

from dot strife; 
But he couldn't do ainy different to safe hees 

life. 
Besides, it vas safer — und vell did he know, 
A live Dutchman vas better den a dead hero. 



THE BARONS LAST BANQUET. II 

THE BARON'S LAST BANQUET. 

BY ALBERT G. GREENE. 

^Ä'ER a low couch the setting sun had thrown 

^^ its latest ray, 

Where, in his last strong agony, a dying warrior 

lay,— 
The Stern old Baron Rudiger, whose frame had 

ne'er been bent 
By wasting pain, tili time and toil its iron 

strength had spent. 

"They come around me here, and say my days 

of life are o'er; 
That I shall mount my noble steed and lead my 

band no more; 
They come, and, to my beard, they dare to teil 

me now that I, 
Their own liege lord and master born, that I, — 

ha! ha! — must die. 

'^And what is death? I've dared him oft, before 

the Paynim spear; 
Think ye he's entered at my gate, — has come to 

seek me here ? 
I've met him, faced him, scorned him, when the 

fight was raging hot; — 
rU try his might, FU brave his power; defy, and 

fear him not. 



12 THE BAROn's LAST BANQUET. 

'^Ho! sound the tocsin from my tower, and fire 

the culverin; 
Bid each retainer arm with speed; call every 

vassal in; 
Up with my banner on the wall; the banquet 

board prepare; 
Throw wide the portal of my hall,5 and bring 

my armor there! " 

An hundred hands were busy then: the banquet 

forth was spread, 
And rung the heavy oaken floor with many a 

martial tread; 
While from the rieh, dark tracery, along the 

vaulted wall, 
Lights gleamed on harness, plume, and spear, 

o'er the proud old Gothic hall. 

Fast hurrying through the outer gate, the mailed 

retainers poured, 
On through the portal's frowning arch, and 

thronged around the board; 
While at its head, within his dark, carved oaken 

chair of State, 
Armed cap-a-pie, stern Rudiger, with girded 

falchion, säte. 

" Fill every beaker up, my men; pour forth the 

cheering wine; 
There's life and strength in every drop; — thanks- 

giving to the vine! 



THE BARON S LAST BANQUET. 13 

Are ye all there, my vassals true ? mine eyes are 

waxing dim; 
Fill round, my tried and fearless ones, each 

goblet to the brim. 

"Ye're there, but yet I see you not; draw forth 

each trusty sword, 
And let me hear your faithful steel clash once 

around my board; — 
I hear it faintly; — louder yet! What clogs my 

heavy breath ? 
Up, all! and shout for Rudiger, ' Defiance unto 

death!' " 

Bowl rang to bowl, steel clanged to steel, and 

rose a deafening cry, 
That made the torches flare around, and shook 

the flags on high. 
"Ho! cravens! do ye fear him ? Slaves! 

traitors! have ye flown ? 
Ho! cowards, have ye left me to meet him here 

alone ? 

"But I defy him; let him come!" Down rang 

the massy cup, 
While from its sheath the ready blade came 

flashing half-way up; 
And, with the black and heavy plumes scarce 

trembling on his head, 
There, in his dark, carved oaken chair, old 

Rudiger sat, — dead! 



14 DER BARON S LAST BANQUET. 

DER BAROK'S LAST BA:^rQUET. 

[j^ONE zummer's nighdt, 'boudt dwelf o'glock, 
Der down glock youst vas sdruckit, 
Ven under a parn an oldt Tom kat 
Vas goin' to keeck der pucket. 
He'd ketched den dousand rats und mice, 

Een bantries on der shelf, 
Bud now at lasht hees durn vas combed, 
Und dot kat vas ketched himself, 

" Dey vhine aroundt me all der vhile, 

Und vhisper een mine ear; 
Do-nighdt vas your lasht tay, oldt poy — 

Krim death vill soon bin here! 
Dey comb, und to my wery vace, 

Dey dell me now dot I, 
Der oldtest Tom kat on der blace, 

Dot I, (yu-i-i — pfh — pfh) must die. 

" Und vot is death? Led me see heem vonce! 

Und vot ish dis all abowut? 
Ov he vants to. hafe a fite mit me, 

He'd petter look a leedle owut! 
I vas a tuff oldt coostomer, 

Und he bedder led me be; 
Ov he combs, I'H skretch hees eyes e-o-w-u-t — 

Vot's der metter mit me? 

'' Ho! zound der seegnul vrom der parn, 
Und zound id lowud und shdrong, 



DER BARON S LAST BANQUET. 15 

Dell all der Thomas kats to comb, 

Und pring deir vives along. 
Hoorey üb so gwick as aifer you ken, 

Und zee how zoon dey'll arrife; 
I'fe got a pooty pig shob on hend " — 

Und he hat, you baed your life. 

Dey brought heem een a dousand rats. 

Und mit an awvul gry 
Dey lade 'em at his feedt, und sayed: 

" Now, Tom, how's dot vor high? " 
Dot oldt kat shmiled a solemn shmile. 

Und a dear drobbed off hees eye 
As he sayed, "Mine vriends, dot mekes me dink 

Ov goot oldt tays gone by-i-i-i-i! " 

Youst den der kats begin do comb, 

Dru lane, und vield und vence; 
All running to got a goot vront seadt 

Ven der vuneral should gommence. 
Dey all rushdt een und gedered roundt 

Der blace vhere oldt Tom set. 
Und he sayed, "How vas you anyh-e-o-u-w? 

I didn't vas deadt yet! 

" Let aifery kat be villed shuck vull, 

Pour vorth der sheering whine; 
Don'd shtand back on my aggound, 

I'm mit you aifery dime! 



l6 DER BAROX'S LAST BAXQUET. 

Vas you all dere, you Thomas kats, 

Und all der vimmin doo? 
Den get your beck üb aifery vone, 

Und show vot you" ken do! 

" Led aifery kat vipe off hees west, 

Und all pull down hees shin, 
Ged youst der righd gurve on your shpine, 

Und den, p)- shinks! peech in. 
Vor shoore I don'd ken see foorshdrate; 

Vas you all reaty now? 
Go ahedt mit der moosic, aifer3''vone — 

Led 's hafe a foorsht-kless re-o-u-wl " 

Der row gommenced, kat fout mit kat, 

Und thumped aginst dot vloor. 
Und shkardt der horses een der parn, 

Und made der kattle roar. 
"Ho! Tom kats, who's der reason 

Dot you all vas runned avay? 
Ish dot zo, you vas all shkardt owud? 

Vell, py shinks I /vill shtayl" 

" I don'd vas afrait — youst led heem com-b! ' 

Und shoore enough, ka whack, 
Oldt Death combed, und dot poor oldt kat 

Vas busted een der pack. 
Und az he layed dere on der ground, 

Der last vords vot he sa3'ed 
Vas: ''M-e-o-u-w! pfh? pfh! !" 

Und dot Thomas kat vas dade. 



l 



THE CREEDS OF THE BELLS. I7 

THE CKEEDS OF THE BEL.L.S. 

BY GEORGE W. BUNGAY. 

<^gOW sweet the chime of the Sabbath bells! 
^ß Each one its creed in music teils, 
In tones that float upon the air, 
As soft as song, as pure as prayer; 
And I will put in simple rhyme 
The language of the golden chime; 
My happy heart with rapture swells 
Responsive to the bells, sweet bells. 

" In deeds of love excel! excel!" 
Chimed out from ivied towers a bell; 
''This is the church not built on sands, 
Emblem of one not built with hands; 
Its forms and sacred rites revere, 
Come worship here! come worship here! 
In rituals and faith excel!" 
Chimed out the Episcopalian bell. 

"Oh heed the ancient landmarks well!" 
In solemn tones exclaimed a bell; 
"No progress made by mortal man 
Can change the just eternal plan: 
With God there can be nothing new; 
Ignore the false, embrace the true, 
While all is well! is well! is well!" 
Pealed out the good old Dutch church bell. 



lö THE CREEDS OF THE BELLS. 

" Ye purifying waters swell!" 
In mellow tones rang out a bell; 
" Thoiigh faith alone in Christ can save, 
Man must be plunged beneath the wave, 
To show the world unfaltering faith 
In what the Sacred Scriptures saith: 
O swell! ye rising waters, swell!" 
Pealed out the clear-toned Baptist bell. 

"Not faith alone, but works as well, 
Must test the soul!" said a soft bell; 
" Come here and cast aside your load, 
And work your way along the road, 
With faith in God, and faith in man, 
And hope in Christ, where hope began; 
Do well! do well! do well! do well!" 
Rang out the Unitarian bell. 

"Farewell! farewell! base world, farewell!' 
In touching tones exclaimed a bell; 
'' Life is a boon, to mortals given, 
To fit the soul for bliss in heaven; 
Do not invoke the avenging rod, 
Come here and learn the way to God; 
Say to the world, Farewell! farewell!" 
Pealed forth the Presbyterian bell. 

'^To all, the truth, we teil! we teil!" 

Shouted in ecstasies a bell; 

'^ Come all ye weary wanderers, see! 



THE CREEDS OF THE BELLS. I9 

Our Lord has made salvation free! 
Repent, believe, have faith, and then 
Be saved, and praise the Lord, Amen! 
Salvation's free, we teil! we teil!" 
Shouted the Methodistic bell. 

"In after life there is no hell!" 
In raptures rang a cheerful bell; 
" Look up to heaven this holy day, 
Where angels wait to lead the way; 
There are no fiies, no fiends to blight 
The future life; be just and right. 
No hell! no hell! no hell! no hell!" 
Rang out the Universalist bell. 

"The Pilgrim Fathers heeded well 

My cheerful voice," pealed forth a bell; 

" No fetters here to clog the soul; 

No arbitrary creeds control 

The free heart and progressive mind, 

That leave the dusty path behind. 

Speed well, speed well, speed well, speed well!" 

Pealed out the Independent bell. 

"No pope, no pope, to doom to hell!" 
The Protestant rang out a bell; 
"Great Luther left his fiery zeal, 
Within the hearts that truly feel 
That loyalty to God will be 
The fealty that makes men free. 



20 THE CREEDS OF THE BELLS. 

No Images where incense feil!" 
Rang out old Martin Luther's bell. 

"All hail, ye saints in heaven that dwell 
Close by the cross!" exclaimed a bell; 
" Lean o'er the battlements of bliss, 
And deign to bless a world like this; 
Let mortals kneel before this shrine — 
Adore the water and the wine! 
All hail ye saints, the chorus swell!" 
Chimed in the Roman Catholic bell. 

'' Ye workers who have toiled so well, 

To save the race!" said a sweet bell; 

" With pledge, and badge, and banner, come, 

Each brave heart beating like a drum; 

Be royal men of noble deeds, 

For love is holier than creeds; 

Drink from the well, the well, the well!" 

In rapture rang the Temperance bell. 



DER GREED OF DER PELLS. 

DER GREED OF DER PELLS. 

fOW sweet to heer dem Sabbat pells, 
Each von its greed in moosic teils, 
In dones dot fload way üb above id, 
Und now I vill dold you der reeson ov id. 
My happy hart vas all svelled üb 
Venefer I bring dot soupject üb; 
Now I vill poot in seemble rime 
Der lengwich ov dem pells ov mine. 

*' Een deeds of love, excel! excel! " 
Shimed oud from ived dowers a pell; 
" Dese schoorch vas pilt ubon de send — 
Ve ken't dell youst how long 'twiil stend. 
You act so gweer, you act so gweer, 
Vy dond you comb und worship here ? 
Ve dake your mooney und dreat you vell !" 
Ringed out der Episcopahoolian bell. 

" Oh svell ! ye poorivying vaters svell ! " 

Ken mellow dones ringed oud a bell; 

" Ve pilt a schoorch und got in debt, 

Und now ve're een an orvul fret; 

Comb join, so gwick as aifer you gan, 

Yourselv or ainy oder man; 

No metter vat his peezness is, 

Your mooney is youst so good as his. 

Oh svell ! ye rising vaters svell !" 

Dot vas der glear-doned Baptisteakettle pell. 



22 DER GREED OF DER PEELS. 

''Varevell! varevell! pase vorld varevell!". 
In sblainded dones ringed oud a pell; 
" Vot een der dooce you vas aboud, 
Comb haf your hart turned eenside oud; 
Dees is der sdrait und narrow vay, 
Oh vy ish der reeson you vent asdray? 
Oh, my great gootness grashus sakes, 
You beoples makes some bad misdakes; 
Dot vas no seil! Dot vas no seil!" 
Ringed oud der Brassbedearring pell. 

"Dees vay, dees vay! dees schoorch vas vree! 
Valk in und dook a sead mid me; 
Der plack, der vhide, der boor, der rieh — 
Oh, yaas, dot makes no deafference vich; 
Comb altogedder, und go upon high 
Like der gamel valks dru der needle's eye. 
Vor Gabriel's drumpet vill blow üb der dead. 
Und you'U go to der devul — dot's youst vot I 

Said. 
Oh dime vill dell! yaas, dime vill dell!" 
Dot vas der Unitarrying pell. 

''Hoora! hoora! dish ish der house! 
Der tex ve screach vas nix-coom-rouse; 
Coomb here, coomb here, you should not vait, 
Ve like to haf you coomb fooshdrate; 
Vile odder schoorches gwarrel und vite, 
Ve serf der Lord mit all our mite; 



DER GREED OF DER PELLS. 23 

Deir alvays keeking üb a muss, 

But you nefer find such dings mit us; 

Ead bretzels und drink lager peer, 

Dot ish der vay ve vorship heer. 

Dot vas der troot, I dell! I dell!" 

Ringed oud der goot old Dutchman's pell. 

^'Our schoorch vas pilt vor all greation, 
Durn to der Lord und seek salwation; 
Hoory üb before ve shud der gade — 
Don'd be so aiferlasding lade, 
Vor you may soon be tooken down — 
Dey've got der schmall-pox here in town; 
Dot mekes no deafference vare you vrom, 
Got waccinated before you comb; 
Salwation's vree, ve yell! ve yell!" 
Dot vas der Methodistric pell. 



24 EXCELSTOR. 

EXCELSIOR. 

BY H. W. LONGFELLOW. 

'HE shades of night were falling fast, 
As through an Alpine village passed 
A youth, who bore, mid snow and ice, 
A banner with the stränge device, 
Excelsior! 

His brow was sad; his eyes, beneath, 
Flashed like a falchion from its sheath; 
And like a silver clarion rung 
The accents of that unknown tongue, 
Excelsior! 

In happy homes he saw the light 
Of household fires gleam warm and bright: m 

Above, the spectral glaciers shone; 
And from his lips escaped a groan, 
Excelsior! 



"Try not the pass!" the old man said; 
''Dark lowers the tempest overhead; 
The roaring torrent is deep and wide!" — 
And loud that clarion voice replied, 
Excelsior! 

"Oh! stay," the maiden said, "and rest 
Thy weary head upon this breast!" 



i 
J 



EXCELSIOR. 25 

A tear'stood in his bright blue eye; 
But still he answered, with a sigh, 
Excelsior! 

"Beware the pine-tree's withered branch! 
Beware the awful avalanche!" 
This was the peasant's last good-night; — 
A voice replied, far up the height, 
Excelsior! 

At break of day, as heavenward 
The pious monks of St. Bernard 
Uttered the oft-repeated prayer 
A voice cried, through the startled air, 
Excelsior! 

A traveler, — by the faithful hound, 
Half buried in the snow was found, 
Still grasping, in his hand of ice, 
The banner with the stränge device, 

Excelsior! 

« 
There, in the twilight cold and gray, 
Lifeless, but beautiful, he lay; 
And from the sky, serene and far, 
A voice feil, like a falling star, — 

Excelsior! 



26 OXCELSIOR. 



OXCELSIOR, 



j^ER darkness ov der efening shades 
^Vas youst so bleck as der ace ov sbades, 
Ven dru der willage shdreet dere bassed 
A yoong men valking pooty fasht, 
Und youst vone look behindt he casht — 
Oxpressively. 

Pooty gwick he shdarted on a drot, 
Und some vone sed: " I dell you vot, 
I baed you some vone's awvul sick, 
Und told heem to got a doketor gwick — 
Vor he eckts youst like a loonytick," — 
Oxactly. 

Bud dot yoong men he didn't shtop, 
He vas running üb dot heel teep-top, 
Ven some oldt men he hollered oudt, 
" Say, yoong jnen, vot you vas aboudt?" 
Dot yoong men sed, *' Shet üb your mout '' 
Oxasperatingly. 

He vas drubbled a leedle mit dizziness, 
Bud he kept righd on 'boudt hees piziness; 
He bulled oudt hees bottle to take a nip — 
Youst enuff zo hees feedt vouldn't shlip — 
Bud he drembled zo mooch he led it fip — 
Oxcruciatingly. 



OXCELSIOR. 27 

Ov coorse dot ding vas üb heel vork, 
Bud dot yoong men he didn't shirk, 
Und ven a gal cried oudt, '' You dunce, 
Comb beck und led me kees you vonce!" 
He sed, " Dot's ov no consequnce — 
Oxcuse me!" 

An oldt voman hollered, " You krazy loon, 
Comb down vrom dot heel, gwick! righd avay 

soon!" 
Ov you don'd, Py Krashus! I'U dell your 

mudder!" 
Bud dot boy naifer shtopped — somehow or 

nudder — 
He youst so lief go on, und a good deal 

rudder — 

Oxpectantly. 

*' Dry not to bass — soam helup you'U need; 
Led me took your handt und I vill lead!" 
A woice cried oudt een solemn done; 
Bud dot boy sed,. " Vot's der use yer blow'n'! 
I'm goin' to dry id all alone — 
Oxclusively!" 

Hees fadder vould drashed heem ov he'd got 

a shance, 
Und zo vould hees sisders und hees cuzzings. 

und — all handts: 



28 OXCELSIOR. 

Bud dot poy vas veeling pooty soar, 
Vor he vas oop dere dwo, dree milse or more, 
Vere he'd hardly aifer binafore — 
Oxtraordinarily. 

Und naixt morning, ven der sun vas oudt, 
Der beople, aifery vone, vas dalking oudt 

loudt 
'Boudt dot poy vot runned zo fasht as he ken 
Der efening before, aboudt half-pasht den, 
Und dey eshked: " Vot vas der metter mit dot 

yoong men?" — 

Oxhortingly. 

Bud ven dey vinked mit vone eye, und took 

a beek 
On der highdt ov dot teep-top moundain beak, 
Dey saw sooch a sighd vot m.ade em shook 
Mit vrighdt; und dey sed, ven dey gif dot look: 
"My Grashus! vot shances dot vellar took — 
Oxtremely!" 

Üb dere on dot moundain, vot you dink? Holy 

Schmöker! 
Dere vas dot yoong men vroze shtiff as a poker; 
Und dere he vas shtanding, aldough he vas 

dade, 
Und vrom hees right hand, vaving ofer hees 

hade, 

Vas a panner, on veech vas dees vord vot it 

Said — 

" Oxcelsior!" 



OXCELSIOR. 29 

Dere vas a moral, mine vriends, in dot yoong 

men's motto, 
Vieh ve shouldt adobt — to be surtinly ve 

oughdt to: 
Do youst as you please, bud ven you comb to 

exbire, 
Und bray on your knees to be safed vrom der 

vire, 
'Dwill be a pooty dight skweeze — ov it ain'd 

I'm — misdaken — 

Oxceedingly, 

Ve moost all bass avay, und's no use to be 

shkared; 
Bud on dot lasht tay led us all be brepared; 
Ov ve aind't, ven dot lasht drump shall zound 

o'er der earth, 
How een der dooce vould dot look to see us 

comb vorth, 
Each vone of us yelling vor all he is vorth: 
"'Oxcelsior?" 



30 FOR a' that and a' that. 

FOR A' THAT AIS^D A' THAT. 

BY ROBERT BURNS. 

^S there, for honest poverty, 
^^ That hangs his head, and a' that, 
The coward-slave, we pass him by, 
We dare be poor for a' that! 
For a' that, and a' that, 

Our toils obscure, and a' that; 
The rank is but the guinea stamp, 
The man's the gowd for a' that. 

What tho' on hamely fare we dine, 

Wear hodden-grey, and a' that; 
Gie fools their silks, and knaves their wine, 
A man's a man for a' that. 
For a' that, and a' that, 

Their tinsel show, and a' that; 
The honest man, tho' e'er sae poor, 
Is King o' men for a' that. 

Ye see yon birkie, ca'd a lord, 

Wha struts, and Stares, and a' that; 
Tho' hundreds worship at his word, 
He's but a coof for a' that. 

For a' that, and a' that, «^ 

His riband, star, and a' that, 
The man of independent mind, 
He looks and laughs at a' that. 



FOR a' THAT and a' THAT. 3I 

A prince can mak a belted knight, 

A marquis, duke, and a' that; 
But an honest man's aboon his might, 
Guid faith he mauna fa' that! 
For a' that, and a' that, 

Their dignities, and a' that, 
The pith o' sense, and pride o' worth, 
Are higher rank than a' that. 

Then let us pray that come it may, 

As come it will for a' that; 
That sense and worth, o'er a' the earth, 
May bear the gree, and a' that. 
For a' that, and a' that, 

It's Coming yet, for a' that, 
That man to man, the warld o'er, 
Shall brothers be for a' that. 



32 VOR ALL DOT. 



VOR ALL DOT. 

(^SH dot zo, ven a men vas boor, 
^f Und vears a ragged coat aroundt, 
Ve don'd speak to heem eny more; 

Youst vor der reason on dot aggoundt? 
Vor all dot, und all dot; 
Ov he vas boor, und all dot, 
Under dot regged coadt und het 
Dere vas a men vor all dot. 

Vot ov a man leeves een a hovel, 

Und vears oldt glothes, und all dot. 
Und vorks hardt mit a bick und shofel, 

Dot men vas a men vor all dot; 

Vor all dot, und all dot — 
. Hees boferty und all dot, 
Dot vellar can bick üb mit hees shofel 

Und be a men vor all dot. 

A men may vear der pest of glothes, 

Und hafe hees shdamps, und all dot; 
But dot ish notting — aifer)^ vone knows 

A good meny vas shkamps vor all dot; 

Vor all dot, und all dot; 

Deir shdovepipe hats, und all dot; 
Ov hees vorth a hunnert tousand pounds 

Dot don'd make heem a men vor all dot. 



VOR ALL DOT. ^^ 

Der reech may leef ia brown-shtone fronts, 
Und hafe deir chaises at der door, 

Und den expose deir ignorance 
By making faces at der boor; 
But der boor men, vor all dot, 
Ov he's onest, kindt, und all dot, 

Should bass 'em by mitout a sigh, 
Vor he's reecher still vor all dot. 

Dru all dese life dere'll be a strife 

Tg keeb ahedt, und all dot ; 
Bud to aifery vone, een der vorld to comb, 

Dere'll be a shange, I dell you vot! 

Vor all dese, und all dot, 

Our drubbles here, und all dot; 
Vot ve've endured vill den be cured. 

Und ve'll be vree vrom all dot. 

Ve hope der day's not var avay 

Ven dot vill bin our heppy lot 
To dreat each men der besht ve ken, 

Dot vill bin petter, aind't id? Vot? 

Ov coorse id vill, und petter shtill, 

ril dell you der reason vy: Because 
Dees ish der vay ve'll greed, each men ve meed : 

"Wie gehts, mine brudder — how you vas?" 



34 BETSY AND I ARE OUT. 

BETSY A^T> I ARE OUT. 

BY WILL. M. CARLETON. 

PRAW up the papers, lawyer, and make 'em 
good and stout, 
For things at home are cross-ways, and Betsy 

and I are out, — 
We who have worked together so long as man 

and wife 
Must pull in Single harness the rest of our nat'ral 
life. 

"What is the matter," says you ? I swan! it's 

hard to teil! 
Most of the years behind us we've passed by 

very well; 
I have no other woman — she has no other man; 
Only we've lived together as long as ever we 

can. 

So I have talked with Betsy, and Betsy has 

talked with me; 
And we've agreed together that we can never 

agree; 
Not that we've catched each other in any terrible 

crime; 
We've been agatherin' this for years, a little at a 

time, 



BETSY AND I ARE OUT. 35 

There was a stock of temper we both had, for a 

Start; 
Although we ne'er suspected 'twould take us 

two apart; 
I had my various failings, bred in the flesh and 

bone, 
And Betsy, like all good women, had a temper 

of her own. 

The first thing, I remember, whereon we dis- 

agreed, 
Was somethin' concerning heaven — a difference 

in our creed; 
We arg'ed the thing at breakfast — we arg'ed the 

thing at tea — 
And the more we arg'ed the question, the more 

we couldn't agree. 

And the next that I remember was when we lost 

a cow; 
She had kicked the bücket for certain — the 

question was only — How? 
I held my opinion, and Betsy another had; 
And when we were done a talkin', we both of us 

was mad. 

And the next that I remember, it started in a 

joke; 
But for füll a week it lasted and neither of us 

spoke. 



^6 BETSY AND I ARE OUT. 

And the next was when I fretted because she 

broke a bowl; 
And she said I was mean and stingy, and hadn't 

any soul. 

And so the thing kept workin', and all the seif- 
same way; 

Always somethin' to ar'ge and somethin' sharp 
to say, — 

And down on us came the neighbors, a couple 
o' dozen strong, 

And lent their kindest sarvice to help the thing 
along. 

And there have been days together — and many 

a weary week — 
When both of us were cross and spunky, and 

both too proud to speak; 
And I have been thinkin' and thinkin', the whole 

of the summer and fall, 
If I can't live kind with a woman, why, then I 

won't at all. 

And so I've talked with Betsy, and Betsy has 

talked with me; 
And we have agreed. together that we can never 

agree; 
And what is hers shall be hers, and what is mine 

shall be mine; 
And rU put it in 'the agreement and take ii to 

her to sign. 



BETSY AND I ARE OUT. 37 

Write on the paper, lawyer — the very first para- 

graph— 
Of all the farm and live stock, she shall have 

her half; 
For she has helped to earn it, through many a 

weary day, 
And it's nothin' more than justice that Betsy 

has her pay. 

Give her the house and homestead; a man can 

thrive and roam, 
But women are wretched critters, unless they 

have a home. 
And I have always determined, and never failed 

to say, 
That Betsy should never want a home, if I was 

taken away. 

There's a little hard money besides, that's draw- 

in' tol'rable pay, 
A couple of hundred dollars laid by for a rainy 

day,— 
Safe in the hands of good men, and easy to get at; 
Put in another clause there, and give her all of 

that. 

I See that you are smiling, sir, at my givin' her 

so much; 
Yes, divorce is cheap, sir, but I take no stock in 

such; 



38 BETSY AND I ARE OUT. 

True and fair I married her, when she was blithe 

and young, 
And Betsy was always good to me, exceptin' 

with her tongue. 

When I was young as you, sir, and not so smart, 

perhaps, 
For me she mittened a lawyer, and several other 

chaps; 
And all of 'em was flustered, and fairly taken 

dov/n. 
And for a time I was counted the luckiest man 

in town. 

Once, when I had a fever — I won't forget it 

soon — 
I was hot as a basted turkey and crazy as a 

loon — 
Never an hour went by me when she was out of 

sight; 
She nursed me true and tender, and stuck to me 

day and night. 

And if ever a house was tidy, and ever a kitchen 

clean, 
Her house and kitchen was tidy as any I ever 

Seen, 
And I don't complain of Betsy or any of her acts, 
Exceptin' when we've quarreled, and told each 

other facts. 



BETSY AND I ARE OUT. 39 

So draw up the papers, lawyer; and Fll go home 

to-night, 
And read the agreement to her and see if it's all 

right; 
And then in the mornin' Tli seil to a tradin' man 

I know — 
And kiss the child that was left to us, and out 

in the world I'U go. 

And one thing put in the paper, that first to 

me didn't occur; 
That when I am dead at last she will bring me 

back to her, 
And lay me under the maple we planted years 

ago, 
When she and I was happy, before we quarreled 

so. 

And when she dies, I wish that she would be 

laid by me; 
And lyin' together in silence, perhaps we'll then 

agree; 
And if ever we meet in heaven, I wouldn't think 

it queer 
If we loved each other the better because we've 

quarreled here. 



40 BAITSY AND I ARE OUDT. 



BAITSY AND I ARE OUl>T. 

PRAW oop dem bapers, lawyer, und make 
'em shtrong und lawvul, 
My house vas getting oopside oudt, und Baitsy 

she vas awvul. 
Dot's no use talkin', ve can't agree — sooch 

aickshuns I naifer saw; 
To teil you der troot, between you und me, she 
vas vorse as a mudder-in-law, 

Ven I virst got married mit Baitsy, her head vas 

pooty lefel; 
Bud now you youst ought to see her vonce — 

she's shuck vull of der defel. 
I've talked mit her togedder, vor two veeks 

aifery tay, 
Und der furder ve vas togedder der nearer ve 

vas avay. 

Dot all gommenced aboudt der Pible; I youst 

took it down vrom der shelf — 
Dot's a ding I naifer look into mooch. — you 

know how dot vas yourself; 
Und I vas a reading 'boudt Daniel, how he 

shoomped in der lions' den, 
Und youst a leedle f arder along, I vas reading 

dem lines den, 



BAITSY AND I ARE OUDT. 4I 

Vere it says: '*Und Daniel got hees back oop — 

righdt oop against der vall; 
Bud der lions don'd vas shkared — dey didn't 

done notting at all;" 
Und ven I read dot shapter dru,' ve both vas a 

goot deal puzzled, 
Und I says, " Baitsy, now I see how t'vas, dem 

lions must bin muzzled." 

She dold me I vas lyin', dot vas not vot it 

meant, 
I Said she vas anudder, und dot's youst der vay 

it vent; 
Und den she vas got awvul mad, und dold me 

to my vace, 
"I vish, py Shinks! dot Dan vas oudt, und you 

vas een hees blace." 

" Vell," I says, " I'm villings to shange mit 

Daniel, let heem comb und leef mit you, 
Und ril go und shoomp een der lions' den, und 

enshoy myself better'n I do!" 
Bud vot een der dooce vould Daniel dink ov I 

ashk heem to shange mit me? 
He vould say, " Oh, no! I know Baitsy too vell — 

I vould rudder shtay vere I be!" 

She shoomped righdt gwick vor der broomshtick, 
und vas goin' to gife me a douse; 

Bud ven she turned 'roundt to shtruck me, she 
vas all alone in der house; 



42 BAITSY AND I ARE OUDT. 

Dot's der reason I comb to talk to you aboudt 

der varm und homeshtead; 
Dere moosht no vone trust Baitsy on my 

aggount, she left my board und bedshtead. 

Vone day she vanted soam vater, und dold me 

to go oudt und pump it, 
r dold her I vouldn't do it, und ov she didn't 

like it she could lum.p it! 
She shoked me oop against der vall, und shut 

my vind pipe off; 
I teil you I Seen shtars dot time, und I dou'^ht 

my head vas off. 

Py krashus! she's liable to kill me mit vatefer 

she gets her hands on, 
Und I get mixed oop so I can't teil vich endt my 

head shtands on. 
She shtruck me vonce mit a cord-vood shtick, 

righdt on der shpine ov my back; 
I lefd der home, und vrom dot day tili dees — 

vor dree veeks — I didn't comb back. 

I teil you, Meesder Lawyer, it beats all vot I've 

endoored, 
Besides der money I've baid oudt to keeb my 

life enshoored. 
Der more I dink ov dese dings, der less I vant 

to, sir. 
Und der more I dink of Baitsy, der less I dink 

ov her. 



BAITSY AND I ARE OUDT. 4.3 

Der foorsht time I aifer met her, I vas shtruck 

mit her vinning vay; 
Bud now a shange vas tooken blace — I get 

shtruck in a deafferent vay. 
Dot time ven ve got married, she vas a lass een 

shkool, 
Und I vas youst aboudt der same — alas! I vas 

a vool. 

She alvays used to shmile so nice venefer I 

shanced to meet her, "^ 
I.didn't dought she vould become sooch an orvul 

oogly creetur; 
Bud shoore I vas meesdaken, un^ I got beat like 

der dooce — 
Ov you could only hear her, you'd dink her jaw 

vas loose. 

Vone day she says, ''Shut oop your mout; you're 

blabbin' all der time!" 
I says, "I vouldn't do it" — dot's der kind ov a 

Dootchman /am! 
Und den bevore I knew it^ she took me by 

soorbrise. 
Und keecked me oudt der house, sir — righdt 

bevore my vace und eyes! 

I teil you vot it vas, sir, I velt a goot deal put 

oudt, 
To hafe my own belofed vife teil me to shut my 

moudt; 



44 BAITSY AND I ARE OUDT. 

Und because I dought I vouldn't, to keeck me 

oudt der door, 
Youst on aggount sooch aickshuns, dot's vy I 

veel so sore. 

I've yelled und shkolded at her until my droat 

vas hoarse; 
Bud dot naifer didn't do no goot — she's gettin' 

vorse und vorse; 
Und I've made oop my mind oudt, dot vas my 

only course 
To comb here und get your adwice — und also 

a diworce. 

I know it's hard to gife dot oop, und leeve alone; 

bud shtill, 
Ov she don'd vant to sebarate, I'll get soam 

vone dot vill. 
I know vell 'nuff dot Baitsy'll say dot I'm a 

great big lummix; 
Bud I don'd shvallow all she says — dot von't 

shtay on my shtumix. 

You talk 'boudt bein' henpecked, und ruled by 

voman's tongue, 
I teil you vot it is, sir, I'm vorse off den Prigham 

Young. 
So wrode oop dot baper, lawyer, und draw it 

righdt avay, 
Und ril take it home to Baitsy, und see vot she 

vill say. 



BAITSY AND I ARE OUDT. 45 

Und den to-morrow morning I vill seil aifery- 

ding I own, 
Und bid Baitsy und our shild good-bye, und go • 

oudt een der vorld alone. 
Und ven I dink ov Baitsy, a dousand milse 

avay, 
ril baed she'U vant to hafe me comb righdt 

back home und shtay. 

But I naifer vill come back again, unless she's 

tooken sick, 
Ov she is you tailegraf me to comb back pooty 

gwick. 
Remaimper vot I teil you, und don'd keeb me 

in soosbense; 
Youst bay der tailegrafer, und sharge to my 

oxbense. 

Dot poots me een mind ov someding, dot I can't 

dink ov now; 
I can't remaimper vot I vorget — dot beats all, 

ainyhow! 
Oh! now I've got it — wrode it down, dot ven 

I'm dead und gone, 
Baitsy'U bring me back to her, und bury me 

een der lawn. 

Und on my tombstone, let it read, in ledders 

large und blain: 
'' Here lies Shon Shtuffenhei.mer, und hees vife 

she is t^Q blame! " 



40 BAITSY AND I ARE OUDT. 

Und I hope dot in a veek or two, righdt after I 

hafe died, 
Baitsy und I vili both ov us be laying side by 

side. 

Und ven Gabreel blows hees drumpet oop, und 

all der dead shall rise, 
Baitsey und I vill both shoomp oop, und vipe 

our veeping eyes; 
Und den ov it looks doubtful, ve'll shtand 

righdt dere und vait, 
Und ven no vone vas lookin', ve'll shkweeze 

dru der Golden Gate. 



DER DWENDY-VONE MAN. 47 



DER DWENDY-VONE MAN. 

(^ NAIFER coot got dru my hedt, 
^^ So long as Fve lived in my life, 

Vat's der reeson I vasn't got marriet 
Und heetched myseluf üb mit a vife. 
But after all, vinally, at last, I vound owd 

Vy id vas dot it naifer coot be; 
I vill dell you, of corus, vats der drubble; 
But, oh! dot's a ruff schoke on me. 

You See dem sdadisteakettle vellers 

Vat gif an aggound of der census, 
By grashus, so shure as you lif, 

Dey shkart me all owd ov my senses. 
Dey say dot all ofer der vorld, 

No metter verefer dey've been, 
Verefer you find dwendy vimmen, 

Der vas oxacdly dwendy -vo7ie men ! 

I vould like do bin marriet fooshdrate, 

Und I've dried yoost so hart as I ken, 
But dot's no use, py kosh, I ken't do it, 

Becose I'm dot dwendy-vone man. 
Dot's yoost vot's der reeson mit me, 

Dot's der kindt ov a man I am, 
But now I vas gedding so oldt, 

I've got so I don'd care a — — shnap. 



48 DER DWENDY-VONE MAN. 

Dot's noting more und less as a loddery, 

To dell der troot candit und frenk, 
Und venefer dwendy vellars got marriet, 

I vas got myseluf lefd on a blenk. 
But I bet you dot soam ov dem vellars — 

Und I say id ride strait to deir face — 
Vould leeve a goot eel more heppier 

Ov dey vas, py shinks, een my blace. 

Venefer I valk üb der sdreet, 

Led me go yoosht so fasht as I ken, 
Und aifery person I heppen do meed 

Says: "Dere gose der dwendy-vone man!' 
Shiminy Kracky! Dot mekes me so med! 

Vot een der dooce haf I done, 
Dot I shall bin dreated like dot, 

Und got shtook mit dot blamed dwendy-vone'^ 



A DOKETOR S DRUBBLES. 49 

A DOKETOR'S I>RUBBI.ES. 

(^ YOUST to bin a doketor vonce, 
^^ Vot koored all kints of gases, 
Und in my bragtis I have met 
A goot mainy deafferent fases. 

Vor dwendy milse round vere I leved, 

De beeple vas gwite seekly; — 
'Boud vonce a veek I galled arount, 

Und zo I vound um veekly, 

Soam vas sick mit vone decease, — 

Und soam dey had anodder, 
Und soam you vooden't doght vould leeve 

Vrom one ent do de odder. 

Bud pooty soon I vound dot oud 

My bocket book vas dhry, 
Und also my oxpensays 

Vas running oval high. 

So I vent out gollecting, 

Bud aifery vere I vent, 
My batients vas oxhorseted, — 

Dey vas not wort a cendt. 

Und I vent und seed vone men, 

He vas briefing his lasht; 
I doght de gwicker I got dot, 

De sooner it vas kashed. 



5© A DOKETOR'S DRUBBLES. 

So I showed de men hees node, 
Und I dold heem do pay; 

Hees dime vas shoost up, 
Dot vas hees lasht tay. 

Hees hand vas in each bocked, 
Und dot's vy I doght so sdrange, 

He died — und hees lasht vords vas: 
''I don'd veel ainy shange," 

Und vone sed to me: " Doketor, 

Howefer can I bay? 
You know dot Fm not aple — ■ 

I'm vailing aifery tay." 

Und anoder vellar dold me, 
" Shoost valk you ride avay; 

You got dot oll vat's due you 

Ven gomes de shoodgement-tay." 

I eshked vone men for hees sheck, 
Id vas youst pefore hees deadth ; 

But I vound he hadn't no dime, 

He vas drawing hees lasht breadth. 

Und I vound dish wash de drubble — 

Een my käse ainy vay — 
De beeple vot I doketored 

Hedden't cents enoff to bay. 







A DOKETOR S DRUBBLES. 51 

You'f hurt dot goot old sayink, 

Verein dot goot pook says — 
I dinks id combs oud deeswise — 

'' Soam rools ken vork böte vays." 

Und so it ees mit de doketor 

Ov he eshkt a man to bay, 
Und he tails him " I ken't do id," 

Hees shoor to die dot day. 

I vent beck to my offus, 

Veeling dired dru und dru; 
Und togedder mit dese drubble 

I vash med und shleeby doo. 

I lade down on de sofy, 

Und dried to haive a shnooze; 
Bud een a doketor's offus 

Dot didn't vas no youse. 

I hurt. soam kolling ''Doketor!" 

Und I run üb do my shbout, 
Und dese vords vent his ears down: 

*' Vafs der metter mit yoicr moutf 

Und den dot vellar holleret, — 

Hees woice vas shdrong und glear, 
Und dese vords vent de shbout oop^ 
"Dooce Dr. Scholtz leve hier?" 



52 A DOKETOR S DRUBBLES. 

Und gv/ickly beck my an-swear 

Dot shbout vas goin' droo: 
" Dr. Scholtz, dot vas my name, sir, 

Vot vood you hev me doo?" 

'' Now let me eshk you, doketor; 

You shoore I'fe got dot righd? 
Ish your name Dr. Friederick Scholtz f 

He yelt mit oll hees mighd. 

I doght dot men vas crazy — 

Oar meppy he vas dight. 
I sed, ^'Yaas — 'tvas Dr. Friederick Scholtz, 

Vot you vant dees dime ov nighd?" 

Und I vas zo oxtonished, 

Bud de naixt dings vat I hear, 

Ven dot vellar dold me, " Doketor, 
How long hev you leefed hier?" 

Und den I vos oxcited, 

I feit youst like a row; 
I sed, " I'fe leefed hier dwendy years — 

Vot you vant ainyhow?" 

Dot men he vas a villane, 

Und dot's youst vot I kin broofe; 

He singed oud to me lowdiy, 

" Vot's der reason you don'd moofe?" 



A DOKETOR S DRUBBLES. 53 

I run down dru der shdairvay, 

Und oud into der shdreed, 
Bud I only hurt der bavemends 

Klattering fashd agenshd hees f^eei':''^ ' 

I reely dink sooch ekshuns 

Shoot not be oferlooked; 
Of I kood kaitch dot vellar, 

Py cosh, hees coose vas kooked! 

Now I vood say do der doketors, 

Youst^pefore id vas doo late, 
Don'd naifer lose your batients, 

Und you*ll suckseed fooshtrate. 

No metter vot's der reason, 

You naifer shood get wexed; 
You may lose your bay in dees vorldt, 

ßud you'll get id in der next. 



54 BARRABIE FRIETCHKIE. 

BAKRABIE FRIETCHKIE. 

: ;"not shbr 
"J^Oi rcts early von mornin', youst ven day 

^^ dime broke oud, 

Ven dese dings vas happened vot I dold you 

aboud. 

Der Hevenly sbires by Friederick shtandt, 
Green-valled by der heels von Marylandt. 

Orchards und vruit drees vas growing all roundt. 

Und peach jooce und apple sass cofered der 
groundt. , 

Dem green vields und bastures looked foorsh- 

drate all ofer, 
Und der sheeps und der kattles vas shuck vull 

mit clofer. 

All roundt dot blaces dere vas a pig crop — 
Potatoses und sooch dings vas lookin' teep top. 

Der rebels vould like to had some of dot ration — 
For shoore dey vas youst aboudt dead mit 
shtarvation. 

Dey vas hoorying along youst so fast as dey 

coot, 
All valking on hoss pack und riding on foot. 

Ofer der heels und vinding down, 

Dey youst vas comin' by Friederick town. 



BARRABIE FRIETCHKIE. 55 

Der bonnie blue flag mit der single shtars 
Vas flopping der breezes aiferyvares. 



Ven üb der sdreet combs der rebel treadt, 
Mit Shdonevall Yackson Coming righd aheadt. 



Und so gwicic ven he looked von dot oldt 

slouch hat, 
He rised up hees handt und he looked youst 

like dat. 

Barrabie Vrietchkie vas lookin a window down 
Mit her night cap on und an olt night gown. 

Und vat do you dink, by shiminy cripse! 
She vas vaving dot flag von der stars und 
stripes. 

Und ven she looked von dot vindow drough, 
She sayed, ''Shdonevall Yackson! look aleedle 
out vat you do." 

"Halt!" he sayed — und dem ranks stoock fast. 
'Tire! " Oudt plazed der rifles' plast. 

It busted der vindow-panes und sashes, 
Und rented dot flag mit seams und gashes. 

Und ven dey saw all ov dot vindow glass spilt, 
Aifery vone doght shoore dot oldt vomans vas 
kilt. 



56 BARRABIE FRIETCHKIE. 

But no! Ven dot flag proke down vrom dot 

shtick, 
Oldt Barrabie shnatched it 00p righd av^ay 

gwick! 

She sdretched eenside oud ov dot vindow-sill, 
Und vaved dot flag, py shinks, to kill! 

"Shoot! ov you moost, dot oldt bald hade, 
Bud don'd tooch dot flag," der oldt vornan said. 

A veeling ov sadness und blushes ov shame 
On der faces ov dot leader vas ofercame. 

He looked in dot vindow und sayed, " Py Scott! 
I never vas seen sooch a vornan like dot! 

*'Who touches a hade von dot bald hair, 

Kill Mm dade on der shpot! Noiv shoot ov you dareT 

AU day long, by der drum's dead beat, 
Dey vas marching dot nickel-shtone bavement, 
shdreet. 

Und ofer der hades ov dem rebels der whole 

day dru, 
Vaved der flag ov der ret, und der vite, plack 

und plue. 

Shdonevall Yackson has fought hees last light; 
Poorhaps he vas vrong, und poorhaps he vas 
right. 



BARRABIE FRIETCHKIE. 57 

^Dot makes nottings deafferent, votefer you say, 
I baed you he vas all right on der shoodgement 
tay. 

Barrabie's gone to dot same blace mit Shdone- 

vall Yack, 
Vrom veech no leefing person aifer vound der 

vay pack. 

Und dot shplainded oldt vornan now shleeps dot 

last shleep 
In veech all der shleeping aiferlastingly shleep. 

But she vill vake oop in der shveet by-und-by, 
Und be tooken right avay oop to der mansions 
on high. 

Und, my vriends, ov you're safed in dot lasht 

great tay — 
Ov course dot's very doubtful, but I hope you 

all may — 

Ov you do reach dot land ov der good und der 

dru, 
You'll see Barrabie Frietchkie und Shdonevall 

too! 



58 DER BUMMER. 

DER BUMMEK. 

IjHO is dot sets in dot saloon, 

Und vills 00p vull dot oldt spittoon 
Vrom all day long tili naixt day noon? 
Der bummer. 

Who goes een und calls vor viskey sdrait,' 
Den drinks too much to navigate, 
Und says " Youst mark dot on der shiate?" 
Der bummer. 

Who alvays sets in dot same seat, 
Und vaits vor somevone eise to treat — 
Hees nose looks like some oldt dead peat? 
Der bummer. 

Who gets hees drinks und naifer pays, 
Und steals some times to make a raise, 
Den lays een shail vor seexty days? 
Der bummer. 

Who is dot men mit a big red nose, 
Und hees pants all comin' dru hees clothes, 
Und hees boots all shtickin' dru hees toes? 
Der bummer. 

Who is dot vellar you often vind, 
Says he can shtop ven he's a mind, 
Und den you see him (hie) shtavin' blind.' 
Der bummer. 



DER BUMMER. 59 

Who gets kicked outside aifery nighdt; 
Und ven he bicks himself üprighdt, 
Hees legs don'd valk oxactly righdt? 
Der bummer. 

Whose breath shmells ven he talks mit you, 
Und you say, " Shtand back a leedle, do!" 
Dot's vorse as Limburg cheese — phew ! 
Der bummer. 

Who goes home late, unlocks der door, 
Und valks so shtill across der vloor, 
Und laffs ven he hears der oldt vornan shnore? 
Der bummer. 

Who has some orful bad headaches; 
Und een der nighdt-time ven he vakes, 
He sees his boots all.vuU mit shnakes? 
Der bummer. 

Who drinks vrom oudt dot pizen bowl, 
Und loses all hees self-control, 
Und den at lasht vill lose hees soul? 
Der bummer. 

Who's der vorst man you aifer met; 
Und ven he dies vill hafe to shweat, 
Vor he'll hafe a red hot time, you bet? 
Der bummer. 



6o DER SOOFERING GRESSHOBBERS. 



DER SOOFERIlS^a GRESSHOBBERS. 

Gomposed vor und readt at a recebtion gifen tö Sheneral Krouse, at a 
Ladies' Aidt Sewsiety, vor der brevention ov gruelty to der gress- 
hobbing sooferers. 

PER soomer vas pest, 
Und der harfest vas ainded, 
Und der krops in der Vest 
Vas all of 'em shplaindid. 

Dose varmers vas hebby, 

Und der veemens vas gled, 
As dey dinked ov der parnvulls 

Ov krain vot dey had. 

Und dey pringed out der valnuds. 

Und obened der seck, 
Und dey vould sed dere und ead 

Vile der vire vould kreck. 

Whosoefer vould dought 

Een a fery vew tays 
Dem varmers vould loose 

All der dings vot dey raise? 

Bud der gresshobbers hed 

A sourbrise barty dere, 
Und dey combed vrom der koondry 

Around aifery vere. 



DER SOOFERING GRESSHOBBERS. 6l 

Bud dot sourbrise barty, 

Dot vas a dade peat, 
Becose dey don'd pring mit dem 

Ennydings to eat. 

Dey dought dey vood eadt 

Vot der napers broad een; 
Bud, bedween you und I, 

Now dot vas too tin. 

' Boudt dwoo, dree months beck, 

Brabs dot vas vive, 
I could dold youst oxactly 

By eshking my vife. 

An oldt andt ov mine 

Vat leefes oudt een Nepraskiew, 
She wrode me a ledder, 

Und says I vould eshk you: 

" Remaimper your andt, Fritz: 

Be so kindt, ov you blease, 
To send me somedings to eadt, 

Ov you don'd I vould vreeze. 

"I've hed nottings to eadt 

Seence vay beck in Shoon; 
Ov you don'd send me glothing 

I vill dye pooty soon. 



DER SOOt-ERING GRESSHOBBERS. 

" Ov you don'd b'leve dot or not- 
Der lesht line vot I wrode — 

'Boudt dwendy pig gresshobbers 
Vent down mine droad! 

"You eshk vot's der reason 
Oudt here mit der vokes? 

Oh! Fritz, vot I dold you 
Dot don'd vas a hokes. 

" Gresshobbers, Gresshobbers, 

Oh! vot a kroudt; 
Und ven dey vlied down 

Dot vas youst like a kloudt. 

"Der foorsht tay dey combed, 
Dot vas een der nighd — 

Bud nopody nose dot, 
So dot vas all righd. 

" Bud der fery nexdt tay 

Der Haifens vas kreen, 
Und sooch heartrendting sites 

You naifer vas seen," 

I wrode righd beck 

Und sed to my andt, 
"I vouldn't helb you 

Ov I kood — bud I can't." 



DER gOOFERING GRESSHOBBERS. 6^ 

Vor dese reason dey sendt 

Sheneral Krouse here; 
Bud he sbendt der mosht 

Ov hees di'mes trinkin' peer. 

Der Sewsiety abbointed 

A gommiddee ov dwo 
To receive Sheneral Krouse, 

Und vait on heem, doo. 

So Doctor Murray und me — 

Youst on dot aggoundt — 
Vas poot on der gommiddee 

To 'schkort der Sheneral 'roundt. 

Dey vouldn't bay a lifery pill, 
(Dot vould bin youst a drifle), 

So ve dhree hed to '■^ foodt it,'' 
Dot vas mean as der tuyfel. 

Ve dreated heem vell 

Verefer he vendt; 
Ve valked oop der reefer, 

Und called to see Zendt. 

Der reefer dot vent down 

So nice und so plue, 
Und soam ov Zendt's lager 

Vent down so nice, doo. 



64 DER SOOFERING GRESSHO&BERS. 

Und ven ve lefdt Zendt's 

I vas veeling foorshdrate; 
(Doketor Krouse und Sheneral Murray 

Dey .couldn't valk shtrate.) 

Der Sheneral vas dooked 

Mit a bain in hees side; 
Und he sed: ^'Oh, ov some mans 

Vould gif US a ride! " 

Und aifery dings vent 

Mit his headt speening roundt, 

Und he can't dell veech endt ov me 
Stands on der groundt. 

Der Doketor laid down, 

Und dere he remained; 
Und I dold heem, " Now, Doketor, 

Don'd you vas ashamed? " 

Uud all vot he sed vas 

He obened hees mout. 
Und a keg ov Zendt's peer 

Dot vent ^^ 00p der shbout ! " 

Und der Sheneral sed, *' Murray, 

You vas a poor dool, 
Laying dere een der road 

So dight like a vool! " 



DER SOOFERING GRESSHOBBERS. 65 

Und der Doketor sed, " Sheneral, 

Dot may be all right; 
Bud dot vasn't my trinkin' 

Vot made you so dight." 

Und üb cömbs a boliceman 

To find somedings oudt; 
Und he dold me, " You dree 

Vas a seek lookin' kroudt." 

Und ven I heard dot, 

Dot raised üb mine sponk; 
I sed, " Vot kindt of pizness 

You vas to dot drunk? 

" Sooch chin moosick like dot 

Vas an Insult to me; 
Dere lays Sheneral Krouse — 

He vas bossing dot sbree! " 

Bud I moost shtop right here. 

Und say not a vord more, 
Vor I oxbects aifery minit. 

Mine vrow droo der door. 

On dot foorsht cry vor helup 

I vas eshked m)^ adwice; 
Und I sed der whole dings 

Vas a pig pack o' flies. 



66 DER SOOFERING GRESSHOBBERS. 

Bud I vas shoorely misdaken — 
Dey've got der gresshobbers bad, 

Und poorhaps by dees dime 

Soam haf gone "hopping" maci. 

Und to go to der Vest 
Dot vas now my indent, 

Und aggom-penny dem goots 
Vot der Sewsiety half-cent. 

Eef I dought I got shkalbed 
By soam s(u)nuff-a-gun, 

I shall foot myself beck 
By an ofer land rim. 

Now ov a pig Inshun 
Should get on my treck, 

I can't say vor shoore 
Ov I aifer comb beck. 

Und ven I should send you 

A punch ov my hair, 
Don'd gif my vrow ainy — 

She has pulled oudt her share. 

Bud sh'pose I get shkalped, 
Don'd der Pible declare 

Dere von't be ainy more 
Parting oop dere. 



DOT HEADHEN SCHINEE. 67 



DOT HEAI>HE:N^ SCHINEE. 

'ICH I vish to arise 

Und my langwich oxblain, 
Dot vor vays I deshpise, 
Und vor dricks youst der same, 
Dot headhen Schinee ish der devul, 

Yaas, dot's so, he's der chap vots to blame. 

Ah Sin vas hees name, 

Und I saw by hees eye 
He vas Schuck vull ov game; 

Dot's between you und I. 
But I dought, ven I looked him all over, 

Dot we had a soft ting me und Nye. 

'Tvas der fust dey ov April, 

Dot same day wherein 
A great meny people 

Dey get daken in; 
But shdill, afder all, ad der same time, 

Dot vas not der case mit Ah Sin. 

Der game vas euchre, bad luck, 

'Tvas broposed by Bill Nye, 
Which der same we got shtuck, 

Dot ish, Bill und I, 
Vor Ah Sin didn't vas a dem phool, 

You could see by der skwint ov hees eye. 



68 DOT HEADHEN SCHINEE. 

Nye he shtocked der cards, 

Mit der greatest ov ease, 
Und in hees discards 

He shoved some up hees shleeves, 
Und likewise mit me vas der case, 

Which der same vas to beat dot Schinese. 

But not a game did we beat, 

Und we blayed füll a shcore, 
Nor I vouldn't repeat 

Der oadhs vat Nye shwore, 
Ven vinally dot Schinamen shneezed, 

Und he dropped dree vull packs on der vloor. 

Den Nye shtared at me 

Und I looked at Nye, 
Und dere set dot Schinee 

Mit a grin on hees eye; 
Which he eats rats, und vorks vor low wages, 

Und Bill shumpedvor dot cheatin ShangHi. 

Which I vill not describe, 

Dot vould make your heart sick, 

So I youst shtepped outside, 

You can bet, pooty gwick, * 

While Bill broke dot headhen Schinee 
Into bieces about an inch dhick. 

Which you'd hardly believe, 
Ven we shwept üb dot muss. 



DOT KEADHEN SCHINEE. 69 

Youst ten packs in each shleeve 

Ov dot late Schinese cuss, 
Und der ends ov hees fingers vas waxed, 

Dot's how he waxed Bill und I, both ov us. 

Which I vish to arise, 

Und my langwich maintain, 
Dot vor vays I deshpise, 

Und vor dricks youst der same, 
Dot cheatin Schinee ish der devul, 

Which myself I can hardly contain. 



70 DOT OLDT SETTING HEN, 



DOT OliDT SETTING HEX. 

<3f'VE hed lots ov drubbles und drials een life, 
^'^Ov you don'd believe it, ask Katrina, my vife. 
Ve vorked on a farm in eighteen sixty-two, 
Und I teil you ve vorked like sixty, too. 

Bud ve didn't vas makin' money pooty fasht, 
So ve dought der ding ofer, und vinally, at lasht, 
Ve made üb our minds to raise boultry und 

shickens; 
Bud dem boultry vas all der times raising der 

dickens. 

I remaimper an oldt hen vot vanted to set — 
She vas der vorst oldt hen shickens I aifer vas 

met — 
'Tvas vone day in der soomer, und Katrina says 

"Fritz, 
Poot soam aigs in der nesht vere dot oldt hen 

sits." 

"Vell," I says, "ov she'll only behafe und set 

shtill, 
I dink poorhaps — mebbe — I guess I vill." 
So I poot me some aigs een my oldt shtraw hat, 
Und I vent to der parn to see vot she vas at. 

Üb dere een der mow I see someding beekin 
oudt, 



DOT OLDT SETTING HEN. 71 

Und dere vas der oldt hen mit her head shteekin' 

oudt. 
I says, " Look here, oldt gal, you goin' to leef 

dese aigs rotting, 
Vile you vas üb dere sitting shtill, doin' notting?" 

^'Vell," I Said, "I guess not; now you can youst 

bet on it: 
I brought dees hat vuU ov aigs, und you've got 

to set on it. 
I vant you to hatch dem oudt oop dere een dot 

nesht. 
Und don'd you Scratch dem oudt ov you know 

vot is besht!" 

Vell, I vas een a hoory, und hadn't mooch time 

to sbend, 
So I got an oldt barrel, und shtood me üb on its 

end; 
Und youst aboudt der time ven I raised üb my 

head, 
Dot oldt hen bicked me vonce, und I dought I 

vas dead. 

She vas goin' to take her bick ov der aigs, I 

subpose, 
Bud she made a meesdake und bicked oudt my 

nose. 
I says: "You oldt vool, I don'd vant my vace 

scratched; 



72 DOT OLDT SETTING HEN. 

Keeb your nose oudt ov my beezness, or you vill 
be snatched." 

Und before dot oldt hen knowed vot I vas aboudt, 
She flew at me, und I dought shoore my eyes vas 

scratched oudt; 
I dodged so der oldt hen vouldn't know vere I 

am, 
Und dot barrel head busted und I vent in 

ker-shlam. 

Vell, I vas shtuck — dot's der kind of a feex I 

vas een, 
Mit my coat und west bushed vay üb under my 

cheen, 
Und I vas cofered all ofer mit dirt, blood und 

aigs— 
I could veel der blamed shtuff running all down 

my 1-limbs. 

I tried to skweeze oudt, bud it didn',t do no good: 
Den I hollered "Katrina!" so loud as I could. 
She comb right avay oudt, but she act like a 

goose. 
Und layed dere on de hay und laffed like der 

dooce. 

I said, '' Say, Katrina, vot you vas aboudt, 
Comb rigbd avay here und turn dees barrel 
eenside oudt. 



DOT OLDT SETTING HEN. 73 

You vas got me so mad, don'd you hear me^ 

now — say — 
Vot you lay dere und laff, like a oldt vool, eh?" 

She vinked at me und sayed^ " Oh, give us a restf 
You better vipe off your cheen oop, und pull 

down your vest; 
I guess Fve got a right to lay here und laff; 
You're altogedder too fast, you great big calf . 

'' I vas villings to comb und pull yourself oudt; 
Bud I von't moof a shtep tili you shut oop your 

mout." 
Und she told me, ^' Now, Fritz, ov you bick oop 

a gwarrel, 
ril shoomp right avay oop und poot a head on 

dot barrel." 

Vell, vot could I do ven she talk me dot vay? 
Ov coorse I vas shtuck, und didn't know vot to 

say; 
Und youst on aggount ov der vay she vas 

behavin', 
I vas got myself mad — oh, my Gosh! I vas 

shtavin'! 

Dere I vas een dot barrel, vay oop to my cheen — 
Oh! dot's no use talkin', I vas badly tooken een; 
Und ven she looked at my vace, und sawmynose 

pooty red, 
She knowed right avay dot I meant vot I said. 



74 DOT OLDT SETTIXG HEN. 

So she says, '' I von't let you shtick to it all day." 
^'Vell," I says, '' now dot's beezness, pull me oudt 

right avay." 
So she layed us both down right on der parn 

vloor, 
Und she pulled on der barrel vile I hung to der 

door. 

Bud der virst pull she made, den I gommenced 

to yell: 
^' Py golly • shtop Katrina, dere's nails in dot 

barrel I" 
Ven I vent een der nails vent down, youst on dot 

aggount — 
Bud ven I shtarted oudt dey shtuck een me all 

der vay 'roundt. 

*' Vell," I says, " Katrina, der best thing to do 
Vas to get nabor Hansman — und bring a saw, 

too." 
Und I says, '' Hoory up; don'd De shlack, 
Or ril be a dead Dootchman before you comb 

back." 

So ven he combed ofer, he eshked vot t'vas 

aboudt. 
I says, "I'm een a dight place, und vant you to 

helb me oudt." 
Und ven he seen how I vas he begun to '' Haw! 

hawl" 



DOT OLDT SETTING HEN. 75 

Und he sed, "Sooch a barrelfool I naifer vas 
saw." 

Bud he roUed me ofer, along on der groundt, 
Und he sawed me dot barrel off all der vay 

'roundt; 
Den I velt a goot deal petter, und I sed to my vife; 
" Dot's der virst time I vas aifer cut out een my 

life." 

Und ven I got oop, sooch a yell dot dey raised: 
Dere vas dot half-barrel shtickin' vast 'roundt 

my vaist. 
Und Katrina says, " Fred, shtand shtill — don'd 

moof on — 
T vant a pattern ov dot new hoopskirt you've 

got on." 

I puUed oudt my shacknife, und dey laffed like 

der dooce, 
Vile I vittled der hoops off und broke myself 

loose; 
Und vot you dink, ven I combed een der house? 
I vound dot my coadt tail vas nix-coom-a-rouse. 

So I sed to Katrina: 'Tve made oop my mindt 
Dot somedings vas vrong — youst look vonce 

behindt;" 
Und comb to vind oudt, dot big Dootch mule, 
He sawed off my coadt tail, der blamed oldt vool ! 



76 DOT OLDT SETTING HEN. 

Vell to make it shtill vorse, der fery naixt tay 
Katrina comb to me und says to me, " Say, 
I've been dinkin' a goot deal 'boudt dot oldthen,. 

Fredt— 
Poorhaps by dees dime she is villings to set." 

I says, " I don'd care ov she's villings or not — 
She can go to — Halifax — you unnershtand dot?" 
"Vell," Katrina says, ''Fredt, you talk pooty 

ruff." 
I says, "Don'd shpeak a vord; I've bin hen- 

pecked enuff." 

Vell, to make a short shtory long, I alvays iook 

oudt, 
Und be shoore all der dime I know vot I'm 

aboudt; 
Und ven I shtand on a barrel to reach oop on 

der shelfs, 
I naifer shtand on it — I use someding eise. 

You takedese oldt hens mit dere " Kluck, kluck, 

kluck!" 
Und I teil you, my vriends, dey've got lots of 

pluck. 
I let dem hafe dere own vay, seence I got 

jammed oop. 
Und now ven dey von't set, vy, I let dem shtand 

oop. 



CONTENTS. 



SHERIDAN'S RIDE, . 3 

SHAKE SHNYDER'S RIDE , , . 6 

THE BARON'S LAST BANQUET 11 

DER BARON'S LAST BANQUET, ..... 14 

THE CREEDS OF THE BELLS, 17 

DER GREED OF DER PELLS, 21 

EXCELSIOR, 24 

OXCELSIOR 26 

FOR A' THAT AND A' THAT 30 

VOR ALL DOT, 32 

BETSY AND I ARE OUT, 34 

BAITSY AND I ARE OUDT 40 

DER DWENDY-VONE MAN 47 

A DOKETOR'S DRUBBLES 49 

BARRABIE FRIETCHKIE, 54 

DER BUMMER, 58 

DER SOOFERING GRESSHOBBERS 60 

DOT KEADHEN SCHINEE, 67 

DOT OLDT SETTING HEN 70 



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